Negotiation with love
It’s hard to negotiate when you care. Feelings confuse us. It scares us because we care too much about what the other side thinks of us. We need to think about our needs and the other side’s needs, but we think, “Would he like us after the negotiation.” But the truth is we should be fearless. If you know that it’s a journey, he will hear our values, the ideas we are so used to in our lives. Ideas we don’t test often, so we stay in the safe zones, and then we are closed. We become uninteresting, unimportant, uninfluential.
That is not who we are. It’s important to understand we are free to say & listen and that god and not bad comes from sharing & testing our ideas. That is the gift we got from eating the fruit from the tree of good & evil—the things we say and believe they are not us. Even our feelings it’s not us. The love between them, the spirit that negotiates in good faith, is us. The kindness attendings and respect we give the courage we show when thinking together. That’s us. If I think your thoughts are interesting but because I Am stuck or the idea is unfamiliar to me, I want to listen more deeply, and you should explain it differently, maybe from another point of view. All I Need to do is give you a sign that it will be alright to say anything, and it is safe to think differently. A pro negotiator is happy when he gets a “No” or from friction. He knows it’s part of the process. People test you. Your date tries you. Your partners, Your clients, A test is a chance for you to shine, to prove your value. It would be best if you only were ready to expect the test and pass it. Don’t get mad. Get prepared. God told Moses to First expect a “No” from Pharaoh king of Egypt & so should you!
How do you pass the tests: First, you need to be happy & relaxed and know if they test you, it’s a good thing. Does it mean someone is taking you seriously? A good client is a hard one. He knows he’s going to invest in you. A client or date that doesn’t put their asking hat on or ask you hard questions are not serious and will not close. But those that give you trouble & put up a challenge they are yours.
God tests Abraham by asking for his son. When he proves he is willing to give him up, he passes the test. The hard part is for you to stay focused on the things that matter. To come prepared with the right stories to answer the listener’s questions.
The more you love, the harder you should be. It would be best if you took more risks, the greater the rewards.
If love is there on the other side, he will take it. He will understand & appreciate it in the end.
If you care, you need to say to the other side how much you care and decide how you will behave in advance. Be calm & never push them, show you are letting them chose you. Come to you slowly back up. You have options. You are never needy.
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Daniel Shemer
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